Maybe as an autistic person, it’s easier for me to follow rules. Nonsensical they might sometimes be, but rules are rules. I’m very black-and-white on this. I acknowledge that there are grey areas, extenuating circumstances, and human frailty, but we all know what we’ve been told to do and actions have consequences.
At a time like this, we can’t just follow the rules – we have to be seen to follow the rules. This isn’t a ‘keeping up with Joneses’ sort of thing, this is setting an example that people will stick to. What happens if the neighbours see us allowing a family member to visit? They think, ‘Oh, well if they’re having someone over, I might as well have someone over too.’ And before you know it, the whole thing falls apart because everyone makes exceptions. That’s why we have to follow the rules.
After yesterday’s war with my wife, she went out to the shops anyway in search of eggs because she wants to bake – I can’t exactly chain her up. But she couldn’t find any eggs. Never mind.
I thought that today, things were improving. She seemed calmer, more rational. While I was giving the kids a bath, I heard her ring her mum briefly – no problems, that’s absolutely fine.
What was not fine was her mother turning up at our door an hour later with a box of eggs that my wife had asked her to bring round.
I didn’t let her in. Of course I didn’t let her in. We are not allowed to see family members who are not part of our household, even if they’ve driven fifteen miles to see us.
She stood on the front lawn and asked me to open the windows so she could talk to my children, who were jumping up and down with excitement that Granny had come round. I said no – they can see her and talk to her through the glass. She made out like I was being ridiculous. My kids started crying. My wife started shouting.
Instead of engaging with my kids through the glass, Granny stormed back into the car, slammed the door and drove off at a rate of knots, leaving my children in bits and my wife fuming at me.
In the past hour there have been multiple phone calls about how awful I am, and my children are calling me mean for upsetting Granny. Currently, my wife is trying to find someone who can bring her some flour as she wants to bake, which is hardly endearing her to the people she’s asking to go out and get it for her.
But hey, at least she got her eggs!